What is a life coaching session like?
Life coaching is like having someone else on your side, making sure that you are focused on what’s most important in your life. Life coaching is practical. I will ask you questions that prompt you to consider alternatives you haven’t considered, and encourage you to try on new perspectives. You come to new clarity about your life and purpose.
Then you get down to business and design what to do next. Maybe you want to schedule time to pursue a new idea and cut some less important items out of your schedule. Or maybe you want to try a new tactic with a friend or colleague. Whatever it is, you can make sure you have all the structures in place so that what is most important in your life gets done each week.
Life coaching is done over the phone
Life coaches generally offer their services over the phone because of the unique nature of what coaches have to offer. This is not only more convenient for you, but actually can be more effective than working in-person.
The distance between you and your life coach may help you open up and feel comfortable taking an honest look at yourself and what skills you will need to develop in order to achieve your goals. It can also enhance your level of focus.
Working over the phone can be especially useful for those who may feel uncomfortable with their level of eye contact, facial expressions or body language. You may enjoy the ability to connect and communicate without feeling pressure to communicate non-verbally. It enables you to not have to worry about the visual impression you are making while working with me.
Working over the phone also enables me to work with clients who would not otherwise be able to benefit from such specialized coaching services. I can work with you no matter where you are.
What does Co-active mean?
I am certified as a co-active life coach and I’ve also had compassionate listening training. As a co-active life coach, I don’t offer solutions, advice, guidance, or direction. Co-active life coaches don’t give advice, we help you come to your own best answers. But what I do offer – probably more than anyone else in your life – is an understanding of what it’s like to have a neurodiverse mind.
The co-active coaching model puts you in charge. Do you want to set and achieve goals? Or maybe you want someone to listen and truly understand you? I’m someone who cares, someone who will listen non-judgmentally, ask questions designed to help you clarify your thoughts, and be there with you as you navigate your life.
Having a co-active coach is like having a close friend except when we talk, it’s all about you! As your coach, I don’t have my own agenda. Your agenda is my agenda.
What is the difference between life coaching and therapy?
Life coaching is not therapy. Life coaching and therapy are both potentially powerful methods that are used for different purposes with different individuals.
I do not address clinical depression or other medical illnesses. Many professionals and neurodiverse individuals have come to the realization that neurodiversity is not a mental illness. Neurodiversity is simply a difference in the way your brain is hard-wired which gives you a distinct set of advantages and challenges that can be utilized just like any other trait.
Some of my clients are also in therapy. They they get different benefits from the two methods. I strongly encourage my clients to consult with a therapist for any relevant needs, particularly if there is a concern about anxiety or depression. However, because my services are not limited to a geographical area, I am not familiar enough with your region to recommend other professionals in your particular location.
Can life coaching cure me?
No, life coaching does not cure autism, ADHD or other neurodiversity traits. I have had many people come to me in the past hoping to learn how to be more neurotypical. Learning new life skills is helpful for everyone, but trying to be like someone else is not likely to improve your life. You can become your best self by encouraging the unique traits that you offer to the world, and learning to flourish as the great person that you already are.
Although I specialize in working with people who identify as neurodiverse, I’m not a medical professional and cannot address anxiety, depression, or other illnesses. Neurodiversity by itself is not an illness, it’s just a way in which people vary, like being tall or short.
Can life coaching fix my neurodiverse partner?
I have had people come to me hoping that I will work with their spouse, partner, family member or employee, hoping that I will change them to be more like how they want them to be. This is not going to work because life coaching was not designed to change anyone’s personality, especially not in response to someone else’s wishes.
If you’re in a close relationship that’s not working for you and you want the dynamics of that relationship to change, both individuals in the relationship need to work together to learn new interaction patterns. If one person, usually the one recognized as neurodiverse, is taking the sole blame for a dysfunctional relationship, the relationship is unlikely to improve no matter how hard the neurodiverse person works to change it. Good relationships require everyone involved to work together to design healthy ways of interacting. Usually a couple’s therapist is your best option for that kind of work.
Is life coaching right for me?
My clients are primarily professional adults, frequently in technical professions such as the sciences, engineering, finance, law, and information technology. Yes, you can be neurodiverse and be successful in your career.
The primary characteristic my clients share is the desire and commitment to make positive, practical changes in their lives, and a proactive attitude.
Life coaching works best when…
…You’re willing to undertake a long-term process to create deep and lasting changes.
…You believe that part of the road to achieving your goals involves understanding yourself.
…You are looking for practical answers that you can put in place on a day-to-day basis.
Life coaching does not work as well when…
…You want someone else to change. Because the success of the life coaching techniques depends on the personal proactivity of the client, it is important that prospective clients contact me themselves.
…When someone else wants you to change. Relationships are a give-and-take, two way street. No one is perfect, and if you have a partner (or coworker or friend or family member) who believes that you are the only one who needs to change because you are neurodiverse – this approach is unlikely to work. It’s also unfair. Relationship challenges are never just one person’s fault. In order to improve relationships, everyone involved needs to learn to accommodate each other and respect each other’s differences.
…Depression and other medical illnesses can interfere with the success of the life coaching techniques. Everyone has a few lackluster days sometimes, but successful life coaching requires generally positive expectations and the ability to go out and make practical changes. In addition, depression is a medical condition and coaching is not a medical service. If you suffer from depression or other medical illnesses, first seek qualified medical attention prior to working with a life coach.
…You are in a life crisis. Life coaching is a powerful technique you can use to improve your life in the long term. It is not as well suited for short-term crisis intervention. If you are in a crisis, please seek help from a qualified medical professional.